We Make Suicide Look Good

Something has been bothering me. I don't think it's any secret that poor bullied children are committing suicide at an astonishing rate. While this is obviously horrible what's been worming through my brain and making me uncomfortable is all the attention these cases have been getting due to social media.

This isn't because of my delicate sensitivities or some crusading mission I have to sensor the world and keep everyone from witnessing anything ugly. No. This terrifies me for one simple reason. What if it's making the problem worse?

Before I get to my main point I'm going to tell you a little about myself and why I feel my fears are valid. Bullying is deplorable and something I have dealt with first hand. Between 4-6 grade I was tormented by students and teachers alike. I once even had a teacher threaten to call social services on my family and have me removed from my home because I missed a few days at school. I had brought her a note from my parents before and after the time off was taken to request any homework I was going to miss and explain why I wouldn't be there, and she just ignored it. I had a teacher shove a book in my face and tell me that the stuff I read was crap (it was a book I had gotten from the school library mind you). The students were even worse towards me and the administrations only answer to this was to tell me that I wasn't trying hard enough to fit in. I remember crying and begging my mother to transfer me to a different school or at least home school me. I got told that every kid gets bullied, she did and made it through and so would I. I felt totally alone.

I considered running away, doing serious harm to the students and staff, and even considered hurting myself, but I knew I could never go through with it. So believe me when I say I have a little insight into the minds of these poor children. As more and more adults are speaking out and taking action more and more light is being shined on the bullying problem. Sadly however bullies breed more bullies and this is an issue that will never really go away. The only thing I think will be achieved is the bullies will be going a little more underground in their actions in an effort to not get caught.

Now that doesn't mean we should stop speaking out or holding these people accountable for their actions. On the contrary we should try harder to give the tormented a voice, to let the world know that it is not okay and will not be tolerated, and we should stand with these children and make sure they have the self-love necessary to carry on. Loving myself more than I hated the pain was the only thing that kept me going.

Instead of this I see a disturbing trend. These tragic suicide victims are turned into martyrs. Their pictures are plastered all over facebook asking for likes and shares to "stand against bullying" Where were these pictures and support when these children were alive? The only people they are really reaching are other children plagued by bullies who feel they have no voice. The only message their confused, hurt, and adolescent minds are getting is that if they just end it all then finally people will love them. Finally they'll be appreciated, remember, cherished and heard. They ponder with satisfaction how terrible the bullies will feel, how they'll finally be punished.

We're feeding into a culture that values death more than life and we're making suicide look like an attractive option for those who don't know anything else. The media, social and otherwise, latches on to the misfortune of others, offering no real solution but allowing people to feel important and involved simply because they're "in the know".

Once someone has ended their life it is too late, we as a society have failed them and no amount of passing out pictures will change that. Allow them to be remembered privately by the people who knew and truly loved them. Posting pictures of victims does nothing to stop or combat bullying. If you want to make a difference post pictures of the bullies, don't allow their actions to be swept under the rug. Or better yet if you see that someone is being bullied DO SOMETHING, before it's too late!! Don't shut your curtains and when it's all over mutter about the poor dear. Teach your children, grandchildren, nephews, nieces and students that bullying is unacceptable. Teach them to love themselves and by extension each other. Teach them that not everyone has to "fit in". Teach them that we don't have to be friends with or even like someone in order to be respectful of them.

Inequality for All

Until today I had never even heard of Jessica Ahlquist or her struggle to have a prayer banner removed from her school wall. In the post is a link to a similar article in support of Damon Fowler. While both of these teens are atheists they help to bring light to a serious problem that everyone of a minority faith (or no faith at all) has experienced on some level in their lives.

There seems to be this opinion among most Christians (I understand that this statement doesn't represent all of Christian faith just a vast majority of them) that they're being attacked. That those of us who are not Christian are all out to rally together and stop them from practicing and celebrating their faith. They fight when Christian tablets are taken out of courtrooms, and when prayers are removed from town meetings and school functions, and take particular offense over the holiday season when people dare to say Happy Holidays rather than Merry Christmas. Conservative law makers even try to support bullies on the grounds that they should be able to speak their minds about whatever they want if their faith dictates them to do so.

There is always a common thread among those who get into a huff over these issues. "They're spoiling our fun" "We're not hurting anyone" "Really it's more historical than religious" ultimately what they mean to say is "How dare the little people challenge the status quo, we were happy with the way things were." They spout long speeches that have no basis in real fact saying things like "this country was founded on Christian principals" No it wasn't. This country was founded on principals of freedom and fairness. If you happen to see those principals reflected in your religious tenants it's simply because all positive standards are founded on common ground. Not because your religion was the ring leader.

It's doubly sad that they are so convinced that their religious freedoms are being infringed upon but have no problem infringing on the religious freedoms of others. If you want to display prayers and religious scripture on your own homes, in your church, and in your private schools be my guest. But I pay taxes just like everyone else, I am not Christian, I don't feel comfortable paying for Christian rhetoric to be shoved at my child, and if my child is not Christian they shouldn't be forced to have it looming at them every day. It is a clear example of the school supporting solely those that are Christian whilst suggesting that those of any other faith (or lack thereof) couldn't possibly wish for those things for their school.

I personally have no problem with the prayer, it says nothing offensive, however, why must it end in Amen and why must it address the Christian God. Why can't it simply be a school mission statement there by purporting a positive message and being inclusive. Why does it HAVE to be Christian, why does it HAVE to be a prayer. For some reason people think that unless it has some type of Christian flavor it's not really a positive message.

Meanwhile they get offended and attack Pagans and Atheists alike if they dare to try and celebrate their beliefs publicly. A woman who decided to challenge the "all are included" policy at her child's school was turned away and told after the fact, after bibles were distributed and long standing Christian activities had taken place within the school, they she could not hand out Pagan literature because policies were being revised. I've read countless articles documenting pagan shops being attacked and vandalized by Christian's, and recently a woman was told she had to check with the librarian in order to access pagan and occult websites because their filtering system deemed them as criminal.

There is a clear double standard out there and those who benefit from it are not happy that people are standing up and asking once and for all for things to be fair. Either ALL religions have a place in government or NONE of them do. Personally I think it easier if religion stays a private matter rather than a public one.

Just Not Funny

This afternoon I logged onto my facebook to take a break from some cleaning I was doing and see "If Fred Got Two Beatings Per Day..." WHAT?!?!?!? I just had to read this article and yet again I'm angered by the public school system.

Apparently Beaver Ridge Elementary School in Norcross Atlanta decided they would try some "cross curriculum problems" in an effort to combine social studies and math. One question was "Each tree had 56 oranges. If eight slaves pick them equally, then how much would each slave pick?" again I say WHAT?!?!?!? What the hell is wrong with these people? You wanna add some social studies to your math here's a question. "If 8 evil and bigoted slave owners are forced to free their slaves and each has 10 slaves, how many men does that free."

When, as would be expected, concerns were brought up the spokeswoman for Gwinnett County school Sloan Roach was quoted saying

We understand that there are concerns about these questions, and we agree that these questions were not appropriate.

"Oops our bad" I'm sorry but maybe you should have these discussions before you send home the damned homework, or gods forbid if you plan on changing your curriculum style you notify the parents with perhaps a sampling of what it would look like. These half-assed apologies are not good enough. They just aren't I'm sorry.

I want to have the utmost respect for teachers, I really do. Yet time and time again they disappoint us all. All over the news we hear reports of teachers beating students, bullying students, having sex with students, telling students to bribe them for good grades, shoving religion at them and generally warping their young minds in unspeakable ways. What does the public get in return? These half-assed, half-hearted "apologies" if you can call them that. "I don't know what I was thinking" "It was a misstep in judgment" "We were just trying something different" "I didn't realize the impact of what I did would have."

I'm sorry but don't our tax dollars pay their bills? I think we deserve a little more than some cliched speech. I'll say it again, it's just not good enough. We entrust these people with the future of our world and they treat it like it's a chore, and damn us for expecting them to be good at their jobs, because let's not forget, that's what it is. Teaching youth is their JOB, and if anyone else is bad at their job or abuses their power in grievous ways we would expect them to be FIRED. Instead these people wipe away tears in front of the cameras and act like they've been victimized. They're frustrated with the public for being expected to answer for their actions.

If you're a teacher and my little rant has offended you I apologize that was never my intention. I'm just sick to death of these people who just fall into education because their dream career fell. They're bitter and are treating innocent children like some sort of science experiment, or something less than human simply because they think they can get away with it. It is NOT acceptable.

Success!

This will possibly be my last update in the case of Ms Stephanie Turner and her son. For those of you who weren't aware young Christopher was singled out not only by his teacher but by his bus driver. He was told his faith wasn't a religion and was told not write about it during a class project that discussed the origins of Christmas. His bus driver who overheard a conversation between Christopher and his other Hispanic friends gave Christopher in school suspension and was told to no longer speak in a language that he (the driver) couldn't understand. The other children however were not spoken too. After many attempts to contact the school it would seem that she was being ignored.

Thankfully due to the enormous support from the Pagan community a task force swooped in and positioned themselves as mediators and representatives of the family. Recently a statement was released to update everyone on the progress of the situation.

Statement from Bowdon Elementary School, Carroll County School District, and members of the Turner Family Support Task Force as represented by Lady Liberty League, North Georgia Solitaries, Covenant of the Goddess, Dogwood Local Council, and Circle Sanctuary:

The Turner Family, Task Force, and School District want Bowdon School to be a positive, supportive environment which fosters the emotional ...and educational growth of all students.

With education, cooperation, and open dialogue, all things are possible.

At times, a lack of life experience and/or other circumstances can make it difficult to perceive how words and actions might cause offense or upset. The parties involved acknowledge that words and deeds can be hurtful even without the intent of making them so.

In an effort to reach a positive and collaborative resolution to recent events, an alliance of the parties involved has come to pass which will set the stage for future education for school staff, students, and parents on the topic of equality and respect for all students and families in the Carroll County School System.

First, a sincere apology for recent events and misunderstandings has been given by School Administration and accepted by the family.

Second, the Bowdon Elementary School guidance Counselor will educate staff and students about honoring and accepting the differences that make us individuals.

Third, procedures have been put in place to ensure classroom activities don't alienate students. As part of this, the administration and teachers will have yearly training about the District's Code of Ethics and the responsibilities of each staff member to preserve the integrity of every students' rights.

We appreciate the hard work and open dialogue of all the parties involved to create this positive resolution. The Turner children will return to school. The Carroll County School District will continue to strive to be a place that fosters the emotional and educational growth of all students regardless of religion, race, national origin, gender or disability.

Stephanie Turner appeared in the first part of Pagan Warrior Radio's Tuesday night show hosted by Selena Fox and Pamela Kelly. The show is available on i-Tunes for free download.

A Resolution on the Horizon

Many of you over the last few days have heard of the Turner family and what poor Christopher went through. Doing a little research this morning I have discovered what is hopefully some good news.

Turner Family Support!

Statement from NGS, CoG, DLC, LLL, Circle Sanctuary:

After concerns spread about some problems with accommodating Pagan students needs at Bowdon Elementary School (BES), there was an overwhelming show of community support for the Turner family of Carroll County in western Georgia, USA. Many local Pagans and associated organizations reached out to assist the Turners by prov...iding emotional support and offering practical advice. The Turners have been deeply touched by this out-pouring of spirit and wish to express their sincerest gratitude.

In addition, a Task Force of local and national Pagan organizations have come together to help resolve issues between the Turners and BES. The Task Force also hopes to provide the school with Pagan accommodation information and materials with the hopes of avoiding misunderstandings and other problems in the future. Represented in this group are the North Georgia Solitaries (NGS), both the local and national chapters of the Covenant of the Goddess, Circle Sanctuary and Lady Liberty League.

Currently, Carroll County Schools, led by the assistant superintendent, has expressed an active interest in resolving the current tensions and is planning to meet with Ms. Turner. The family and the Task Force are requesting that those with concerns about their situation do not directly contact the school or its employees. It is important that everyone involved have the maximum space needed to focus on resolving this conflict in a positive way. However, all concerned individuals are welcome to show their support for the Turners through the Turner Family Support Facebook fan page or through the simple use of prayers and energy toward a peaceful resolution and healing.

Please direct all media questions to pio@dogwoodlc.org.

It's heartwarming to know that so many, came together so quickly. Hopefully a lesson is learned by the school. As always, the more I know the more I will share. In the mean time please visit the Turner Family Support page on Facebook.

The Fight for Freedom pt.3

So once again I'm here to update you about the situation with the Carroll County Elementary school. Someone has started a Change.org petition and I highly encourage you all to sign.

There has been some questioning into the validity of Ms. Turner's claims and I understand the position of scepticism that these questions come from. However while I do encourage doing your research I don't think it prudent for us all to sit on our hands waiting for this to make national news before we come forward with our support.

How many top news stories have you seen lately that involve a pagan being discriminated, .. go ahead I'll wait... Have you come up with anything? No? I'm sure we've all heard of stories involving a "self proclaimed Witch" who's done something despicable, or frightening. We've heard the rumors about the Astaru being white supremacists, but unless you're IN THE PAGAN COMMUNITY you  never hear about us being discriminated against, or attacked. Not because it doesn't happen, oh no, but because a story about a witch being abused isn't sexy, it's not scary, the general public can't relate to it. They just want a million stories like Hansel and Gretel "the poor babies, did you know she was going to eat them, that's disgusting who gives a flying fuck that they shoved old Granny into the oven, that was just self defense".

The point I'm trying to make is that for whatever reason a long time ago News stopped being News it simply became part of the media and the media's job has always been to make those who are different look bad. Let's face it, we're different, and that's the way they want it to stay. After all, are the cool kids still cool when there's no one left who isn't.

We get discriminated against every day and in fear of being wrong or called out we all just sit back and let it happen. Well NO MORE.

I've sent Ms. Turner a letter to let her know that I support and stand behind her. I'll be sure to let you know if she responds.

The Fight for Freedom pt. 2

For those of you who learned yesterday of the sad case of Cristopher Turner there has been an update from his mother.

I am looking into legal action if anyone knows anyone that could help me. I do not have money for legal help so am not sure what route to go. I have had many people contact me and help me understand homeschooling a little better and believe this is what my family will do. I just wanted to clarify that Mr. Goldberg was very helpful innitially. I do believe I will hear from him. My son will not be returning to Bowdon Elementary.

If anyone has any information that could help her please contact her at imnsearch1@gmail.com.

Since I posted my blog yesterday I've rounded up some other mentions from  around the web that I thought I might share along with the original article in case anyone hasn't read it yet.

Children Have Rights Too!!!

Was Pagan Student Harassed by Teacher?

Unleash the Hounds! (Link Roundup)

If anyone receives any further information about this story please let us know!