Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Lazy Pagan

Sometimes I'm a lazy Pagan. I just can't revolve my entire life around one thought or idea at all times. I'm so much more than just a Pagan, I can't help it. I'm a writer, a mother, a cook, a wife, a woman, a daughter, an artist, a friend, and a physical being who craves physical activity. Now while I am fully aware that all of these things can have paganism incorporated into them in one way or another it's not always easy to remember. Shit didn't I plan on stirring that soup deosil.

Lately I've been focusing on my health. I've been arming myself with as much information as possible, altering my eating habits to a healthy way of eating (that allows for treats) that I can keep up without falling off the wagon. I've been working out every day. Yoga in the morning and then a mix of cardio and resistance broken into 10 minute segments spread out throughout the day.

Not to mention I still have to keep my apartment clean, do what I can to make a little money, spend time with my son, spend time with my husband, and make sure we don't lose track of our bills. Needless to say spirituality ends up falling to the bottom of my list. I've tried meditating but honestly I kind of suck at it. Every once in a while I can get into a nice meditative rhythm but most of the time I end up battling falling asleep.

So that brings me to the meat of my post, my real reason for writing. I know I'm not the only one who has this stuff going on in their lives, and I know I'm not the only one who has this approach to her spirituality. However everything I read states over and over again, "It's a practice, you need to set special time aside for it, you have to work"

Now while Christianity never rang true for me, one of the things that always turned me off was the amount of work you were expected to put into it. Go to church every Sunday, go through Sunday school, first communion, confirmation, donate money, go to church held events, pray, read your bible, study your bible know your bible, attend bible study. Why? Because it's going to make you a better Christian? Because it will appease God? In that same token, I don't understand people who take on Paganism, no matter what flavor of Paganism they choose, and turn it into work. Meditate, pray, follow the seasons, follow the moon, follow the sun, do ritual work, keep a Book of Shadows, study, Study, STUDY!

I'm Pagan because I believe in balance, because I believe that male and female energies are equally important, because I feel the change of the seasons, and the phases of the moon in my blood and body, because I honor the dead as well as the living and because I never forget where I came from or how I got here.

Am I honestly to believe that the powers that be want me to spend what very little down time I have to turn my spirituality into a job. I don't think so. Study, practice and ritual has it's place when there is need of it, and when we're called to it. Who else is a lazy Pagan and not afraid to admit it, it's okay we won't judge you  ;-)

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