Vaccinate!!!

I don't know how many of you know this, I don't even remember whether or not I've ever mentioned it, but my son has a rare blood disorder. This disorder is called Diamond Blackfan Anemia which essentially means his bone marrow doesn't produce enough red blood cells. This particular gene mutation is incredibly rare, there are currently only 700 cases of it world wide.

When he was born he was gray, his color was actually gray. He wasn't breathing and for the life of them they just couldn't figure out why. They whisked him away from me after my C-Section after I barely got to even give him a kiss. From there he was transported to a larger hospital that could better care for him and diagnose what was wrong. I was transported behind him so we could be in the same hospital.

He had to have blood transfusions every 4-6 weeks just to keep him alive until he turned one, that was when they started him only the steroids. As of right now the steroids are the only way we can treat this disorder. Hopefully one day he'll grow out of it as some do, or at the very least hopefully we can wean him down to a reasonable level of steroids. If not him getting a bone marrow transplant is a very real possibility.

Now to the purpose for this little rambling. Due to his need for chronic steroids he can only be vaccinated with strains of the virus that are not live. The live vaccines basically just would not work on him. The steroids wouldn't allow it. So we can't protect him against things like chicken pox. Illnesses like this aren't necessarily life threatening but they are more dangerous for him. He has a higher risk of contracting these things and once contracted they would affect him more severely, including but not limited to affecting the effectiveness of the steroids which he so desperately needs.

I used to be terrified of vaccinating him, worried what they would do and how dangerous they would be. After long discussions with my husband however we finally decided that it was safer to vaccinate what we could rather than not at all. After working through my fear I realized that maybe it wasn't so scary. Even though it's good to have a strong immune system that can fend for itself there's nothing wrong with having a little help. In years past people died from small pox which is now non existent due to vaccinations.

It is not my job to tell other parents what to do with their children and ultimately a parent has to put the safety of their child first over everyone else. However if you happen to be on the fence on whether or not vaccinating is a good idea think about my son, or someone else's. You could be saving the life of a child who's parents don't have the luxury of making a decision about their vaccination.

Friday Night

We're finally looking at apartments and if everything works out we may have found just the right one. We're even allowed to paint if we want to, which is a plus as we're still in the stages of trying to break our son of his coloring on the walls habit.

My witchy brain is all a-flutter at the prospect of a new living space. I will finally for the first time in I don't know how long be able to set up my sacred space! My kitchen will be all my own, something that I have been missing deeply. Not to mention the mountains of stuff we've been trying to cram into our bedroom for the past 3 years will finally be able to spread out through out an entire apartment! I'll finally have space to work on my jewelry.

Over the past few months I've been trying to get my Etsy shop up and running. I started it about a year ago and for whatever reason I just fell flat. When it comes to selling product I'm just to damned professional lol. I've been scratching my head trying to find the right words to inject some of my personality into my shop. Something that's less needy and less formal and more me.

I found a new book, It was the Food vs Me and I won by Nancy Goodman. It deals with food issues and it's really good. I found it for free on my kindle and it deals with more than just eat this not that and exercise more. It encourages you to deal with the emotional issues behind the food. Something that a lot of people with weight issues often overlook.

Any who, that's what's going on with me and my life. Oh and Yay Obama for supporting gay marriage!!! It's about damned time lol.

Happy Friday all

Sunday Round Up

It's kind of a short Round up this week, but full of goodies anyways, enjoy!

From: Witchy Woman

May's Full Moon

From: The Witch of Howling Creek

Kentucky Derby

Health and Fitness

How To Quit A Soda Habit

From: Smithsonian.com

Surprising Science

From: International Pagan Coming Out Day - May 2

Out - Police Station

Entertainment

Hymn to Herne

Beltane Fire

Beltane Fires

From: About.com Paganism/ Wicca

Religion is Key in Political Support

More Religious Speakers in Public Schools Cause Concern

BeliefNet and Why Pagans Can't Live in a Vacuum

Beltane Countdown: Walpurgisnacht

From: Pagan Edge Magazine

Current Issue

Fitness Update

I've lost 4 pounds since I started my mission. I keep going on and off my workout routine and I've got to be more regimented. I really need to be trying to burn a minimum of 500 calories a day. My ultimate goal was to lose 20 pounds by August, and 10 by the middle of May. I've really got to get my but in gear if I want to make that happen.

I've been trying to make healthier choices when we go out to eat but I need to try and make healthier choices at home too. This morning for breakfast I had two egg whites on a pita with a little mayo and Swiss cheese. I have to get more produce into this house. Things will be so much easier once we finally have our own place. I'll have more room and I'll be able to have a little bit more control over what food is in the house. Until then I'll just have to work hard and make the best of the situation.

Any suggestions or tips for me? I could really use some help so if you've got anything I could try let me know.

One of Those Days

Ever had one of those days where nothing really happens but just all of a sudden life.. just the entirety of life hits you like a ton of bricks. You look around and it dawns on you how badly you need to clean.. but you don't want to clean you feel too depressed to clean, and you know it's not going to get done and it just depresses you more. You're not happy with the way you look and the way you feel but you just don't know where to start. Every option feels like it will take forever and it's almost not worth it and you just feel helpless. You feel so spiritually disconnected that you're just floating, not even happy and there's never any time to center and get to the place you need to be. You know you need a change but you're afraid of that change and you're like a hamster on a wheel, running and running and running and not getting anywhere.

I'm having one of those days. We NEED to move, that's definitely part of it. I need my space, I feel trapped, and as much as I love my parents.. I really have to get away from them. I spent most of my day looking for apartments on Craigslist. Even though the need to move is a big part of it, it's not all of it. It's me, I need.. something, something to motivate me. I just feel so creatively fucked (if that even makes sense). Everything feels bleak and I just want to bite down on a pillow and scream. I feel like I need to take a step back from everything and prioritize. So that's what I'm doing. I'm putting some of my other projects on hold and I'm just taking a step back until I feel right in my own head again. Right now I feel like that's the only option I have. It seems as if life is just slowly piling up around me and pretty soon I'll be buried by it and I don't know how to get out.

I need to.. meditate, read, spend time outside. I need to have a moment where I do absolutely NOTHING, and have that be okay. I feel like I'm always doing something and nothing gets done, so maybe if I do nothing, something will get done. I don't even know if that makes sense but it feels right. Sometimes while my day is whisking by, I feel like I've lost myself. I need time to be a little crazy, do something I'm not supposed to, and just plain be myself. It's like I have to be this other person, this person I don't even recognize to get through the day and the real me is shrinking and shriveling up inside this unfamiliar shell. It scares me how true those words feel. Something is not right, something is not well, and something is not happy. I need to find out why.

Fitness Update

I checked my weight this morning and I seem to be on track for my goals so YAY ME! I've been a bit lax in my workout routine so I could definitely be doing better in that area but I've also found myself eating a lot less and getting full sooner so I guess it balances out. I've started taking a Super B Complex supplement for metabolism energy to go along with the vegetarian water pill I take. I have a tendency to retain water and they help tremendously.

I'd like to offer everyone who is trying to get healthier and lose weight a tip. Don't try talking yourself into buying or eating food simply because it's "healthy". I'm talking about those super organic insanely healthy cereals that taste like cardboard and sand, and those horrible "chips" that to me taste kind of sour. For me, I've always bought and ate that crap because I'm telling myself that I'm giving myself the same food I always eat just healthier and that will help me to lose weight. Wrong. If you like it, great, munch away. If you don't though please don't waste your money. You're going to eat that because you're "supposed" to, you won't feel satisfied and you'll end up binging on the junk that you're craving. Eat the stuff you like and simply make sure you're limiting it to a proper serving size. It'll stop you from associating food with guilt (you shouldn't have an emotional relationship with food) and you'll actually end up eating less.

Another thing that I know but I always have a hard time doing anything about, taking care of me. As a mom it's easy to forget about doing stuff like brushing my teeth, or putting on deoderant (gross I know, but I'm being honest). No one should constantly put themselves on the back burner like that. You'll end up with low self esteem because you don't look like you want and the depression from that will have you turning to all of your comfort vices i.e. sitting on your ass, and eating junk. When you feel good about yourself you want to move around, be seen, and get things done. So I'm trying really hard to force myself to do those basic hygiene things every day even if I need to write them into a to-do list and check them off.

I hoped this helped or encouraged someone, and if anyone has any health or beauty tips please share. The best way to honor the divine is to honor ourselves. The divine is within all of us, no exceptions.

Fitness Update

If you read my post yesterday I gave you a mini update of my fitness progress. I had a little chat with my husband explaining what my current goals are and how long I want it to take to get there. I wanna do this slowly. I'm thinking 40 pounds in a year with 20 pounds lost at the half year mark. I think that's reasonable.

I'm trying to measure more by clothing size than weight, scales can be deceptive (i.e. it says I already lost 6 pounds and I'm not entirely sure how accurate that number is) but I'm checking my weight at certain intervals just to give myself a little update on where I am. I know that my weight will probably fluctuate a little but I'm just going to take an average and as long as the number is dropping I'll be happy.

I made a little goal chart and wrote out exactly what I want and how I want to do it using my Drop a Dress Size book. They suggest you plan out your goals using the SMART system.

Specific: Figure out exactly what you want and why you want it.
Measurable: How will you measure your progress
Attainable: Is this really what you want and are you sure it can be done
Realistic: Make sure your goals make sense for you and your lifestyle, not someone else's.
Time-framed: Make a timetable with checkpoints of long and short term goals. Also make sure you have a start and end time for when you want your goal to be met.

It's nice to set yourself up for success and also to see what you want in black and white and make sure it really resonates with you.

The next thing I need to do to keep myself on the right path is do a little shopping. I need a set of 3-5 pound weights and some new sneakers.

Is anyone else on a weight loss journey, share your story and any tips or tricks you've discovered with us.



Getting on the Right Track

Weight has been something I've struggled with since I was about 9. Before then I was pretty average. I had a good appetite but I was really active. I was outside ALL of the time. I played hard, I climbed trees, hiked mountains, ran, rode bikes, you name it, I probably did it. I hit puberty early, and when that happened ... it was like I didn't want to do anything anymore. My activity level dropped. I started to eat even more and before I knew it I was a teenager with a growing weight problem.

I would go on these health ... kicks. For a couple days I would try to eat less and exercise more, but I never had a support system. My parents would do the same thing, get in a healthy mood and try for a week or so but then a big dinner or holiday would role around and everything would go back to normal. Any time I really tried to stick to my guns all of a sudden it felt like I was under a microscope by everyone in my family. They would either tease me, tell me I was doing everything wrong, or give me an endless stream of nonsensical advice that never felt like it would work for me. So I would give up.

Well here I am 25 years old, I still have a weight problem and now I'm a mother. I have to set a good example for my son, it's my responsibility to teach him about healthy eating and exercise habits. What's more is I want to be healthier. I don't want to have to feel self-conscious about my weight. I want to be stronger, and more flexible, and more awake, with more even moods. I want to have pride in myself.

I don't want to keep going on these health binges only to fall off the wagon and be even more disappointed in myself. So here's where I need a little help. If you have any health tips you want to share with me please do!! I'm going to start trying to be more accountable for myself and as I learn more and gather more info for my own journey I'll share it and hopefully it will be of use to someone.

Step 1: I'm going to have an open and honest conversation with my husband about what I want for myself and what I'm going to need from him to keep me on the right track.